Have you ever been thrust into a season that you absolutely did not understand? I think all of us at one time or another have encountered these times, and sometimes the reaction is to just quit. I have hit a number of uncertain spots in the past 5 years. I have encountered plenty of uncertainty in my life, but it seems like every time I run into another time of unknowns, I still have the same initial reaction. Freak the crap out.
My best friend, Justin, moved this week. He and his family moved from Hereford to San Antonio. So let's get to the main reason why this is so hard. I believed, and really still do believe, that Justin and I would work in the ministry together again. We had a short run together in 2008, but it was not a very long adventure. I hoped that we were nearing the beginning of our ministerial partnership. And now, it's in question. Suddenly, it feels like everything I was believing for is currently on hold.
When I made the decision to come back to Hereford in December of 2007, I came back with expectations of things happening a certain way. Things have happened nothing like I envisioned them. I've questioned God thousands of times, asking Him what the heck is going on. The last 5 and a half years have been an adventure to say the least. From incredibly high highs, to incredible low lows. But, through it all, I have learned one thing. Trusting that Jesus has this whole thing figured out, has absolutely set my soul at ease during the times of turmoil.
You see, when walking into all of the uncertainties over the past 6 years of my life, I've only been able to rely on Jesus to help me through it. If I tried all of this on my own, I would be a royal mess. Seriously, if I didn't have Jesus, my life would literally be meaningless. I could fill it with people, and with music, and with my job, or sports teams, or social networking, or television. Trust me, I have. I have tried to escape inside myself to get to the end of the troubles. I have tried to escape into friendships to escape the pain. No matter how far I dig, or how many friends I find, the pain and troubles are still there. It wasn't until I gave up trying to rescue myself that I really figured out what was going on.
No, Jesus Christ has not delivered me out of pain and out of sorrows. He hasn't given me some secret cheat code to life that allows me to walk through my entire life void of emotions. What He has done, is given me a way to handle to emotional and spiritual toll that uncertain times and insecurities bring.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."-John 16:33
He promises us two things in this verse. First, that we WILL have troubles. Most definitely in this world, we absolutely will have troubles. The world still works the same way as it has forever. Crap happens. Situations that really suck happen. All the time. Friends leave. Family members may abandon us. Our jobs may be pulled out from under us. The bonus didn't come. The loan wasn't approved. Someone we are close to pass away. These are all real life situations and scenarios. We all will have to deal with some, most, or all of these things in our lives. And being a Christian doesn't exempt us from these things.
The second thing He promises us is that we can take heart in knowing that He has overcome the world. All of the ridiculous and hurtful things that happen in life, can be met head on with the peace of Jesus. The storms that come in life, can be walked through because, when we allow Jesus to take control, we get His strength. His promise is beautiful, and His love is fierce. His peace is overwhelming, and His strength is unmatched.
So, because of the advice of a great friend of mine, I'm going to take the next few months and years as an adventure. Not knowing what comes next is sometimes scary, but it can also be exciting. The unknown is what makes it exciting. Am I absolutely heartbroken because my best friend moved to a city that is 7 hours away? Yes. I am. I wish that I could change things and put San Antonio and Hereford 10 miles apart. But, will I continue to sit around and mope because of it? Absolutely not. There are things here that still need to be taken care of. There is still work to be done in Hereford. I don't feel like God has released me from this community, and He may never tell me to leave, so I have to keep moving forward. I have to try to catch the vision that God is showing, and do my best to follow Him through it all.
If you are in a time of uncertainty right now, and your life isn't playing out the way that you envisioned it, don't give up. Don't lose hope. Turn to Jesus to give you the strength to make it through the trial. Allow God to push you through to the next destination on your journey. Don't fold. You never know when the tides will turn and you will walk headlong into your destiny.
I pray that this helps someone. I know that just while writing this, clarity has come to me. The answer isn't giving up. The answer isn't in trying to figure something else out. The answer is this, give it all to Jesus. "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you."-1 Peter 5:7 Allow Him to wash over you in a flood of peace. Let Him show you His love. I promise, with Him, you can make it. You can do it. You will find yourself on the other side with one heck of a story to tell. Be blessed.
